eh.

Ok, I started a blog earlier, but Jacob and Nathan knocked on the door right as I was hitting my peak of brilliance. The knocking was loud and annoying so I lost my concentration and I probably won't get it back. I'm now in a completely different mood then I was in earlier so there is no way I'll be able to get back on track to what my other blog was about, however, I'm going to try.

I believe the topic I was speaking on (or in this case typing) was high school relationships. Ok, I'm not going to go straight out and say they're pointless, because they aren't. I believe that anyone can fall in love as long as they are mature enough. What I mean by this is if you are a 13 year old girl who freaks out about things such as there being a bump in your hair from your pony tail holder then you probably are not mature enough to handle or even understand what true love is. Love isn't just that feeling of jitteryness in the pit of your stomach everytime you look into the soft eyes of that guy that called you pretty last week. It is so much more complex and complicated then that. In order to be capable of true love you have to be willing to put someone ahead of yourself. You have to care enough about someone that the well being of yourself is put to the side and your entire focus is on the well being of this person. So, needless to say, if you are this 13 year old girl (age is not limited only to 13) who is not even comfortable enough with herself to walk out the door with a pony tail crimp, then how in the hell are you going to be capable of love?
This brings me up to my next topic.Do not EVER tell someone that you want to marry them while you are in high school. That is a HUGE, MASSIVE, STUPID mistake. Take it from someone who was stupid enough to make it. Yeah, thanks, hi. When one is in high school, one has no idea who they are. Some of us are lucky enough to have everything figured out, but the majority, not so much. I mean look at how much everyone's changed just since middle school. I know I'm a completely different person then I was 4 years ago, COMPETELY. If a few years of high school can change you that much, imagine how 4 years of COLLEGE can change you. You're out on your own without the opinion of your family and old friends to curve your opinions or mold your actions. College is the first time any of us are really able to fully have a taste of who we really are. There is no way on earth you can know for sure if you want to marry someone at the age of 16 (once again, age is not limited), because there is no way of truly knowing who you really are until you've been given the opportunity to experience different things. You might get to college and realize that everything you thought you stood for in high school, isn't what you truly stand for. You might get to college and your eyes will be opened to so much more then you thought possible. I thought I was in love, and I still believe I was for a period of time. I cared and still care for Kyle David Walker. If I could have taken all his hurt from our break up and deal with it all myself, I would have done it in a heart beat. Most of the time I still put him before myself. It didn't end up working out. The fault wasn't put souly on one person, it belonged to the both of us. We both made mistakes, but the biggest mistake of all was promising to belong to the other for the rest of our lives. We were in the moment, we got ahead of ourselves, and we made everything so much more complicated and emotional then anything should be at such a young age. I had no idea what was going to happen in the following months when I told Kyle I wanted to be with him forever, I just knew how I felt RIGHT THEN, and that was reason enough for me. Do you know how much harder it was to let go after saying things like that? After committing to someone so strongly (we didn't go so far as to be engaged, we just did the whole, "I love you wanna be with you forever," thing) it's hard to move on and accept that it is, in fact, over. It's hard to be like, "Ok, I know I said I wanted to be with you forever, but the things is, I don't anymore." You see what I'm saying?

Anyway, just don't commit so young, ok? You never know whats going to happen and it'll only lead to heart break.